Boyfriend's Hangovers and the Bruise On My Butt

I'm usually sort of a morning person, yes that peppy little cunt who seems to be happy and have energy. I hate those people this morning as I nurse my hangover. Although it must be said, it was totally worth it. But let me back this puppy up a couple of weeks. About three weeks ago, a friend introduced me to one of his friends. we talked a bit and meeting up for a drink was talked about but with me being busy didn't happen for a couple of weeks. Finally met up with him and we went on a date. I explained the past year or so and that I was not looking for a relationship. Which didn't stop us kissing, nor did it stop his hand ending up in my knickers. Very glad I wore a dress on our date. He has been domming me of late, but I'll save those for another post. We've been seeing each other when we've had the chance, and it has been nice. Although my pain tolerance is non-existent these days I have sadly discovered. If anyone finds it there will be a reward.

Last weekend we went for a quick drink before I met up with my friends to go clubbing. We both said non-committal and very not serious, yet he asked me this:

"When you go clubbing, do you, well, tend to pull?" Said with his hand down my jeans I might add. (So not slutty.)
"Sweetheart, I go to get off my face and dance, I have in the past, but it's far from my plan for the evening."
"Oh, ok, cool. Because, well I'd really like it if you didn't." Even I thought that was kind of cute.

So I went clubbing, and didn't pull. Fast forward a few days to yesterday. He came over to mine for the first time, an act of bravery as I always warn people I live in a very cluttered room with a broken bed. (No it didn't get broken doing that.) But he came over, he used my cane on me for the first time. I really didn't take it very, which actually really annoyed me. But, y'know it has been well over a year, I shouldn't be surprised. And that ladies and gentlemen is how I came to get the bruise on my butt. We admitted that we both really like each other, and that we are only playing with (and sleeping with) each other, but we left it at that. We finally got out of bed to get to the pub (seeing where this hangover may have come from now?) and finally ended up introducing people as "his girlfriend" which made a lot more sense than pointing in each other's general direction and saying "that's my erm. Well... S/He's with him." (Delete where appropriate.) So that's how I ended up with a boyfriend. We then went on to another pub, and then finally me and a friend as boyfriend had to get the last train home, went on to yet another place for cocktails. I don't want to know what time my drunk arse got through that door. But I'm feeling better now, and actually, kind of happy. So much for the I'm done with relationships!

Gone but not forgotten

The only problem with having a super secret blog such as this, is when under the same roof as someone domming you it is hard to get some time alone to actually say anything. Well that time will soon be coming to an end. To be honest, I'm just a bit bored now.

My friend is trying to set me up with her brother. I won't complain he's very yummy. Only the first time he met me I had a fit and nearly died, which must be a little off putting (throwing up and fitting is NOT sexy). But hey, I won't stop her from trying.

Aside from that there really hasn't been much to tell.

Spirit

Recconnecting With Zen

Where would I even start on telling you about Zen? He's my knight in shining armour. He's an old friend and the biggest pain in the butt I know! We met online a good few years ago, before Dax, Fyn or Mist. We have been consistantly in and out of contact ever since. He put a roof over my head, fed me and cleaned me when I was homeless, and when I thought he didn't care, I realised he was taking my mind off of my problems.

He is now back with his ex fiance, and I don't like it. To be honest, neither does he. She treats him like crap and I do not like it. Granted though he did fool around with me behind her back, and is debating dumping her. He has always wanted more from out friendship, and when he told me about his ex, I won't lie, I was sick with jealousy. This is not something I'm used to. So I made a desicion to give him a hint to my feelings. He didn't like that I was wearing someone else's marks, and that someone else was sleeping with me, so when I got home tonight I sent him an email telling him that I wanted to see him again, but just the two of us, no going out, just us alone. Well whatever happens next, at least it won't be dull...

Non-commital.

Anyone who has been reading this blog for a while may remember Dak. I went to see him today and a drink as always turned into going back to his to watch DVD's. Last time it resulted in very drunken guilty sex. Now the situation as it stands with Mist is that I have no idea what's going on. His profiles don't say he is seeing anyone, and one in fact says he is still looking. Hmmmm. So fooling around with Dak this time was guilt free. We've been doing this for a while now. On and off. And today was probably the best we've had.

With Dak it's often very violent on both sides. I fight back (not Wolfie type fight back, as bizarrely he really likes Dak) but we have a lot of rough and tumble. In fact the first night we fooled around we totlly trashed his place. But doesn't the best sex usually create a lot of mess. Dak however had heard on the grapevine that I was playing with Mist and we talked about that. He knows my lingering fear of not knowing where I stand with him and that his blog says he is single. So with that in mind we had some very guilt free fooling around. Now I don't let Dak mark me as we are very non-commital. I love him to pieces but I don't have that connection that lets me let go enough to let him leave a single mark on me. But I'm sure you don't want to hear about that.

So lets get down to the dirty. He had been reading some dirty stories of mine lately from another blog I write, and now had an even better idea of what I was into. And for once I didn't go down with a fight. At the end of the DVD he pulled me onto him and we kissed. He started calling me a dirty slut and I was gone. He lifted me off of him and pulled off my jeans and told me to get on all fours and stay there.He slid a finger inside me and I moaned. I was already pretty wet. He has always been very rough with fingering me and I was finding it hard to stay on my hands as they began to shake. My breathing got quicker and the moans got louder. "Remember you aren't allowed to cum." Dammit I knew I shouldn't have told him that. He pulled his fingers out and I gave in and was on my elbows. Dak reminded me of this and I dragged myself up onto my hands again. He told me not to move and then a hand came smacking down onto my arse. I could hear him doing something around me but I didn't think looking up was the best idea. Dak may not be the most sadistic and while he isn't allowed to mark me he's a damn creative man. As I knew from past expeince. He also knows my body insanely well.

I could hear chain behind me and a pair of clovers were clamped down on my labia. His fingers went back inside me and he pulled on the chain. I was squirming and starting to try very hard to keep focused and not just go with it. Not long afterwards his fingers were out of me again and I could hear something going on behind me. I soon found out what it was as I felt the lube hit my skin and covering my arse. A finger slid inside and then another. He was soon fucking both holes and making me beg for more. He likes to make me beg for it. Soon enough his focus was just on streaching my arse as he is not a small boy and he wanted to fuck it. Something he'd never done with me before. He made sure I was nicely lubed and finally slid into my arse, but he's pretty big and it still hurt a little bit but he'd already forced my head into the pillow so I didn't make too much noise. He knows me well enough that he didn't stop or slow down but fucked me ruthelessly ignoring my screams calling me a bitch in heat (never been called that before and I rather liked it) and choked me on the fingers that had been in my cunt not long before. I could smell me on his fingers as he used me. He managed to orgasm before I could leaving me very wet, very turned on. But in keeping with Mist's orgasm ban.

Dak gave me some time to remember how to string a sentance and the caring sweet side was back. We cuddled up as we always do when we hang out. He asked it I was ok and we both cleaned ourselves up a bit. We watched some more junk and then he decided he wanted some more fun. He pulled me close and shoved a finger inside me and then another. I was soon writhing on his fingers and trying so hard to stop myself from orgasm. But his nail scratched me and I started to bleed, we were so wrapped up in the moment that neither of us had noticed as his fingers came out and he started fucking me. I wasn't in any pain (far from it it felt amazing) and it was only when my head came up I noticed the bloody finger marks on the wall. As I was in no pain and I love blood we continued despite better judgement saying I was out of action. The fact that I was so wet made it seem worse than it was and he smeared my bloody over me. But still no orgasm for me.

We chilled out afterwards and once we stopped so did the blood. We also figured it was a good time to call it quits on that department and just relax.We talked some more about Mist, and agreed that if Mist decides he wants to get serious with me Dak and I would stop fucking around. That's what I like about Dak, no strings sex and a great friend. In public people would think we're just two friends. I'm pretty sure he's the best dirty little secret I've ever had. And today was certainly (despite the lack of orgasm) some of the best sex I have ever had! Mist is going to wonder what the hell happened to me when he gets me into bed!

Back Home

So Fyn and I are over, we both wanted to see other people and we are remaining friends. Mist feels the same way about me as I do about him so we are going to take things very slowly and just enjoy each other's company. And if we happen to have sex in that time well that's cool by us too.

So I'm now back at my mum's and it's really nice. Not too sure how long that will last but hey, got to enjoy it while it does!

If all goes well I should be having lots of kinky adventures to share with you all very soon!

Spirit. xx

Life, and It's Other Ideas

I think things really are more or less over with Fyn. He wants to go home and have a think as his life is not where he thought it would be. He admitted he keeps hiding in work so he doesn't have to face a lot of things. Something he has done since we met, and to be honest I do the same thing myself. He saw himself in a very different way to the direction his life is going at the moment. The thing is you really can't plan that far ahead and whatever plans you make life always has other ideas. He is going away for the weekend very soon to stay with his parents and have a think. I have a feeling that when he comes home he will say he wants to call it a day.

Ora has been rushed off his feet with work lately, and next week I will be too. So we've barely had a chance to talk until this morning. So I'm hoping we can have a proper chat soon. I need something a bit more cheerful in my life to be honest. Well that's about it for the moment. I really must try and get that story finished too!

Introducing Ora

Well I ended up replaying to am message last night, I'll just call him Ora. All we did was talk about a few mutual interests, not a single thing happened. We didn't even talk about our kinks and it was a kinky website. That was how things started with Fyn. I'm not saying I'm going to meet him or that anything will come of it, but he seems like a really nice guy. Obviously I don't want to say too much about him, and really there's still a lot that I don't know about him. But I am looking forward to talking with him again.

Bad Ideas

I mentioned in an earlier post I mentioned going for a drink with a guy, Litt. I keep mulling it over in my head and can't help but wonder if it is a bad idea. I really don't want a repeat performance of last year, and he reminds me enough of that ex to make me think letting him back into my life could turn this into 2010 all over again, and I only just got through it the first time round! I can either cancel or give him a chance, it's been a while, and it's not fair to assume that he's gong to come on to me, and if he does all I have to do is walk out.

Fyn still hasn't told his parents that I'm living with him. Bad huh? I know that his Mum doesn't really like me, but it's really about time he told them. As it stands I have to make it look like I don't live there every time they come over. Which is why I am spending tonight with my mum and not going home. Doesn't feel much like a home when I have to do things like that. Reminds me of my ex again, I feel like I'm just some dirty little secret.

Spirit

Going Away

Well I'm off to my family's tomorrow for Christmas, so I guess this will be my last post until maybe new year, maybe I'll manage to post something just before then.

It's been quite a year for me, a lot has happened, I met Fyn six months ago and one whirlwind romance and an engagement later I am living in a whole other part of London. But before that was those months of being single, managing to sleep with three different people in the space of a week, Discovering that I am a lot stronger both mentally and physically than I ever believed myself to be. And most importantly of all, that I did need to quit drinking, and I actually did!

I've met a lot of amazing people, and said goodbye to a few as well. I've suffered time wasters, weird and wankey stalker type people. Yes it has definately been an eventful year, hopefully this one will be too, but this time for all the right reasons. My new years resolution (I've actually kept them in the past, so why not try and do it again) is to start saving for this wedding. Although we probably might want to look for an engagement ring first!

There shall be more kinky stories and adventures from me very soon!

Well I think that's it from me, except to say merry christmas, yule or whatever it is you celebrate and a happy new year. I hope you all have a wonderful 2011!

Spirit

The Past Comes Back

So in my window shopping yesterday I saw a couple of familiar faces. One of them was someone who looked after me a long time ago when I was in a really bad head space, but then he confessed he wanted more and I didn't want a relationship at the time. About two months later I met Fyn. He also would have wanted me to make a few physical changes, and I was not ok with making them. Anyway we hadn't spoken since then, until yesterday. He sent me a message saying hi, and that he was glad I had met someone. So we're having a drink in the new year and catching up. Usually when someone from my past comes back I end up wanting to run a million miles an hour in tight shoes to get away from it. but I'm looking forward to seeing him. Now I've said that I have a horrible feeling that this is a bad idea.