That Story

Well I have very much got myself a case of writers block, so I put it to you lot what read it. What happens next in this here story

Life, and It's Other Ideas

I think things really are more or less over with Fyn. He wants to go home and have a think as his life is not where he thought it would be. He admitted he keeps hiding in work so he doesn't have to face a lot of things. Something he has done since we met, and to be honest I do the same thing myself. He saw himself in a very different way to the direction his life is going at the moment. The thing is you really can't plan that far ahead and whatever plans you make life always has other ideas. He is going away for the weekend very soon to stay with his parents and have a think. I have a feeling that when he comes home he will say he wants to call it a day.

Ora has been rushed off his feet with work lately, and next week I will be too. So we've barely had a chance to talk until this morning. So I'm hoping we can have a proper chat soon. I need something a bit more cheerful in my life to be honest. Well that's about it for the moment. I really must try and get that story finished too!

Spirit's Subspace Adventure

Right as you guys know I am on the subspace mission. No I don't have a rocket yet, but I sure as hell wish it required one! So how is it going? Well, honestly, slower than a crippled snail. I have a LOT of dom friends and of course I did have Fyn until he decided he preferred being a pain in the arse sub. I think I know the person I want to help me on this little mission. But this kind of thing you can't very well have just anyone. There has to be trust, and it doesn't happen overnight. Hell if it did it wouldn't be so much as an adventure as much as it would be a trip to the shops!

So I think there are wheels in motion, but the turning is all a bit unknown for now. But I will be keeping this updated, and I have a quiet day tomorrow in which to hopefully finish that story!

The Persuit of Subspace

I have got it into my head that I can subspace, even if evidence points in a whole other way. I love reading Alternative Mindsets and about her floating away. (And if you haven't read the blog, I suggest you get over there and read it... Hey hey hey, not until you've finished with mine!) It is something I have always wanted to experince, my ex used to subspace really easy, and it looked like a lot of fun. Then I went through my little "no way, this isn't real, someone made it up to sell tea and sugary things" phase.

This phase is very much over and done with. I'm a pretty stubborn person, always have been and always will be. I wanted to learn to squirt and I did. My record is meters and I am very proud. Not that I've been able to do it for a long time. I'm really getting off the point here. Somebody hit the breaks on this train of thought!

Right back onto the matter at hand that you've come here to read. (I've noticed my stuff on subspace seems to be the most popular so I figured I'd talk about it a little more.) Anyway, so this is going to turn into my journey into finding my subspace. It begins here and now! Well, maybe not now, I have a dinner to cook, laundry to put away. So everyone wish me luck and lets see where this goes!

Start of a story

Kneeling on the floor, naked with the exception of a collar, my legs open, my head down and my eyes closed. I'd be in trouble if I was caught looking, and even if I did dare open my eyes I wouldn't want to and risk seeing my heart beating so hard I think it's going to escape my chest.My palms are sweating as they sit upturned on my knees. I don't realise you are behind me as my mind is racing and I'm trying to catch onto a coherant thought, until you run your fingers through my hair. Making me jump.

I feel your hand on my face, gently guiding my face to yours, you kiss me on the forehead. You're being too nice, what brutal thing do you have planned for me? I know you far too well to know this won't last. But I'll enjoy it while it lasts. I wait to be cuffed, as you usually do. But this time you have something else in store for me. This time you have decided that you want to wrap me in clingfilm. As layer after layer goes on it becomes harder and harder to move, and only my head is left free. But a posture collar means I cannot move my head. Finally a blindfold and a gag is added.

Your hands over my body leaves a slowly cooling trail of warmth across my body. Across my arms, chest, legs, but not able to get to between my legs to sate the urge burning inside me. The sudden feel of a pinwheel across one of my nipples makes me jump. Then across my chest to the other nipple and down my body. Once you've had your fun with the pinwheel you rip two holes in th clingfilm and free my nipples, and add clamps making me gasp around my gag.

I'll finish this later I promise.

Returning to Subspace

I mentioned a while back that I have never subspaced in my life. I want to experince it. I want to feel what it is to float away and be held as I come back. It's different things for different people. But seeing as I have never reached it in my life, I don't know what will get me there. It isn't bondage for me, unless of course I've been doing it wrong! I don't think it is pain as I've had some very intense sessions in my time and pain has never gotten me there. I guess no one has really got into my head enough for psychology to work. I can always hope. But I'm supposed to be the dom now, so it looks like it's a real long way off. If ever. Fyn is not so much of a psychological person, when he doms he's more of a pain person. And I like pain, but I need someone who can really get inside my head.

All Change Please

Right so, last night Fyn told me that he has decided that he doesn't actually want to be the dom any more, he wants to go back to being the sub. Which is fine, except for the tiny problem that I don't feel to dom these days. I prefer subbing, and I need someone to give me that.

I need the control of a D/s relationship, I want someone who can give me the pain, the humiliation and the control, and be the dominant one. I don't really know what to say, or what to do. Talk to Fyn I guess would be top of that list. Other than that, I really don't know.