The Joys of Humiliation

So I like... Ok I love humiliation. Especially verbal humiliation. It will get me wet quicker than anything else I know. Recently when I asked sir to humiliate me he asked me how, much past the verbal stuff I drew a complete blank. So I put it to you my wonderful readers, give me some ways that sir can humiliate me!

Giving Up Control, It Felt Like Such a Good Idea

And it genuinely did, and usually I don't regret it, in fact I think it was one of my better moves as I trust sir and he makes me happy. And during sex he always knows the right words to say... This is not helping, as right now I'm one horny little puppy and I know he has had a bad day and don't want to ask him if I can orgasm. Fuck nuggets!

That is all. Feel free to have a giggle about this I almost certainly will tomorrow night when we're together.

Fifty Shades of Grey

Please tell me this is a bad joke. No? I've not been able to read the entire thing myself (even my masochism has it's boundaries and I have limits!) but the few exerts I have heard have made my IQ drop and the more I hear about it the less I like. It is basically from what I have heard a "How to" guide to being a bad and abusive dom. Thus making me thrilled that Sir knows his stuff. (In other news we have decided I really need pushing this weekend and both want to know how bruised my tits can get as my arse just doesn't. No really it doesn't! It used to but recently it decided that it doesn't want to any more. Ironclad was the word sir used. But that's another matter.) So I shall be writing for all those possible "Fifty Shade" refugees that stumble across my blog that are new to our dark, beautiful and slightly twisted little world, a proper how it should be done and how not to do it.

Bruised

Hey, so anyway sorry I didn't post anything sooner, things have been a little crazy round here! Anyway so as you know I was on an orgasm ban. I made it through what felt like the longest three days of my entire life! And every second was worth it. But that was then and this is about yesterday!

Yesterday morning we had an empty flat to enjoy, and what started off with a warm up spanking, then moved onto a very mean wooden paddle brush that I own, then moved onto a super stingy flogger, onto a cane, then back to the brush, an over the knee spanking and finally the cane. Now my pain tolerance has been insanely low, but yesterday just pushed every single button, and most of the beating just did not register of pain, the moans and a wet patch that went down to my knees will contest to that! I have not had a chance to check out how black and blue I am yet, but I'll let you know! I've also rediscovered a huge love for nipple clamps something I was never usually able to take before. But the pain was just... exquisite is the only word for it right now.

I'd write more but I really must dash. Will give you all more of an update later in the week. Take care everyone!

Spirit

Spirit Claws the Walls

So my relationship has taken a turn for the D/s and I am on an orgasm ban. I've been on it since yesterday, but I do have to masturbate three times a day until Friday. Three times and no orgasm? This is cruel but brilliant. I'm enjoying it, but it's also a little bit hellish. I had to sleep in a huge wet patch last night. I don't see him until Friday, and I can't wait as I haven't seen him since last Friday.

On Friday I'll be wearing my stockings, suspenders and my schoolgirl dress. If I really wore my old school uniform I really would not have looked sexy. It was black and shapeless and as un-sexy as humanly possible. But I digress.

Hell I'll do damn near anything to take my mind off the fact that I think my clit is developing a mind of it's own I'm so damned horny! I am trying to not think about the fact I have to masturbate five more times before Friday, all I can say is, he'd better not be over here too late on Friday!

New Relationship

I'm taking things slowly with this relationship. I have to after the past couple of years, considering the state my heart has been left in, not to mention my trust (which is still currently non-existent but I am working on that). So anyway, I see him about once, maybe twice a week. But my brain is currently going mad and shouting at me to get out before I get hurt as I am getting rather attached to him, and I promised myself that I wouldn't get attached to anyone for a long time. But here I am slowly giving my control up and dare I say it possibly falling for this one. Well I'm off to go and put my butt plug in and record myself having a wank for him as promised. Damn rules! I'm actually enjoying them.

Fliting In, Flitting Out

I'm back! No I wasn't locked in the basement of a dom and left to his mercy. Although that might have been fun and I am going back over the next few days for an extended period. He only hurt me once, but he talked to me constantly and it was amazing the way he got into my head and I tried age play for the first time. When he first mentioned it I had absolutely no interest and was a little grossed out but he talked to me and as he kept talking and explaining it changed from a hard limit to something I was curious about and within a few days I was a little girl and very comfortable with it. I wasn't that little but definately regressed a bit.

There's a lot of other stuff I have to get my head around at the moment but it'll all be coming out over the next couple of days. Hope ya'll are well and didn't miss me too much!

Spirit

Fighting Back

An idea from a conversation between Mist and I.

But as I wrote through this I couldn't decide if Taming the Beast might not be a better title. You decide.

He wanted a challenge, and he certainly got it. She was like a coiled spring her body crouched and slightly bent, her legs bent and the knees and up on her toes. She was ready to meet his next move, matching every movement he made with one of her own. What he found so strange was the way that she moved, it seemed so unnatural yet completely comfortable to her. It was strange to him, he who owned her completely, or so he though. No one owned this side of her. There was a definace in this wild, naked woman. And a challenge in her eyes that dared him to even try and catch her.

He made a grab at her slender arm, and it dissapeared beneath him to be replaced by a sweeping almost claw like hand to his arm. He pulled away, shocked at her speed. But he had one thing that she did not. Strength. And he did not plan to lose to his wild girl. This was his idea and he would always feel like he would never completely own her until he had taken control of this almost inhuman side to her. He took another grab at her, this time for her hair which was trailing wild in her face. But again she was already gone and diving behind him with a bizarre agility. There was nothing graceful or cat like about it, yet it was beautiful in it's own way. She landed behind him on all fours and was diving at his back. But this time he was too quick fer her and he threw her down.

She landed on her shoulder with a grunt and this time was up much slower. She barely managed to miss the kick intended to keep him down and went for him while she had him off balance. The force she piled into him with as she bundled her tiny but powerful body into him sent them both flying and hitting the ground hard. She went into his bare chest with her teeth. She bit down hard enough to taste his blood, and in that moment they both thought she had won. He gathered his thoughts and grabbed her by the hair and throat forcing her away. She swiped out with paw like hands and a wild look in her eye. He threw her away like a broken doll. He glanced grabbed the rope and looked down on her as she pulled herself together. He could see between her legs was slick with her juices. She rose up again but he was prepared. She threw herself at him again, he could tell she was becoming desperate, and tired. He was much bigger and heavier and grabbed her body and threw it down without much of a problem.

She landed on her front and he was on top of her before she could turn, a knee in her back, pinning her once and for all. She still did not give up. Snarling and clawing in a desperate bid to right herself. He grabbed her wild mess of hair and forcing her face down with a force that would later bruise her cheek. One hand went to her head trying to fight off his hand. The other he grabbed and forced behind her back and tying it at the wrist. Using the rope to hold it in place he grabbed the other wrist and forced it back, tying it to the other wrist.

Next was her legs. They had been flailing around but now were completely still. It almost seemed too calm to belong to the deep ragged breaths and growls coming from his captive. He pulled his leg away and she moved as quick as her bonds would allow and was on him, teeth bared and ready to keep going. He struck her across the face knocking her back, but again she came at him. He had more time now, and he grabbed his next length of rope. He forced her down again and sat on her chest, it took a while to tie her legs but eventually with a lot of throwing around had tied her ankles to her thighs. She was bent in an uncomfrtable looking tie still looking up and still full of fire.

He had become as aroused as she, who was now so wet the insides of her thighs were slick with sweat and her juices. He posisioned her with her arse in the air and fucked her. She was exhausted, beaten and broken. He continued to slap and scartch at her skin as she still tried to wrestle and slowly gave in to her captor. He reached his climax and left her there just for a minute. Watching the rise and fall of her body as her breathing became regular again. He untied her and they curled up in each other arms.

Sub Space - A Natter

It's something that came up in conversation with Mist recently. He would rather his partner didn't space out and was there with him expriencing the sensations rather than have gone mentally and physically numb. And it got me to thinking, is that my subspace block? Do I actually like being there in the moment with my partner? Do I want to be able to look into their eyes when haze of pain has faded away and be totally grounded by them?

It would explain a lot, and it is a conversation we keep saying we could sit and have during emails and texts but the conversation never gets around to that. We've normally got better things to do!

Spirit's Subspace Adventure

Right as you guys know I am on the subspace mission. No I don't have a rocket yet, but I sure as hell wish it required one! So how is it going? Well, honestly, slower than a crippled snail. I have a LOT of dom friends and of course I did have Fyn until he decided he preferred being a pain in the arse sub. I think I know the person I want to help me on this little mission. But this kind of thing you can't very well have just anyone. There has to be trust, and it doesn't happen overnight. Hell if it did it wouldn't be so much as an adventure as much as it would be a trip to the shops!

So I think there are wheels in motion, but the turning is all a bit unknown for now. But I will be keeping this updated, and I have a quiet day tomorrow in which to hopefully finish that story!

Start of a story

Kneeling on the floor, naked with the exception of a collar, my legs open, my head down and my eyes closed. I'd be in trouble if I was caught looking, and even if I did dare open my eyes I wouldn't want to and risk seeing my heart beating so hard I think it's going to escape my chest.My palms are sweating as they sit upturned on my knees. I don't realise you are behind me as my mind is racing and I'm trying to catch onto a coherant thought, until you run your fingers through my hair. Making me jump.

I feel your hand on my face, gently guiding my face to yours, you kiss me on the forehead. You're being too nice, what brutal thing do you have planned for me? I know you far too well to know this won't last. But I'll enjoy it while it lasts. I wait to be cuffed, as you usually do. But this time you have something else in store for me. This time you have decided that you want to wrap me in clingfilm. As layer after layer goes on it becomes harder and harder to move, and only my head is left free. But a posture collar means I cannot move my head. Finally a blindfold and a gag is added.

Your hands over my body leaves a slowly cooling trail of warmth across my body. Across my arms, chest, legs, but not able to get to between my legs to sate the urge burning inside me. The sudden feel of a pinwheel across one of my nipples makes me jump. Then across my chest to the other nipple and down my body. Once you've had your fun with the pinwheel you rip two holes in th clingfilm and free my nipples, and add clamps making me gasp around my gag.

I'll finish this later I promise.

All Change Please

Right so, last night Fyn told me that he has decided that he doesn't actually want to be the dom any more, he wants to go back to being the sub. Which is fine, except for the tiny problem that I don't feel to dom these days. I prefer subbing, and I need someone to give me that.

I need the control of a D/s relationship, I want someone who can give me the pain, the humiliation and the control, and be the dominant one. I don't really know what to say, or what to do. Talk to Fyn I guess would be top of that list. Other than that, I really don't know.

Great Expectations

I thought I'd continue on from the thought of having high expectations in my recent comments (which can be found here) as it has been on my mind this afernoon.

I had a bit of a strange upbringing, and love was something that seemed to be an easy come easy go. Especially where my Mum was concerned. So now I feel that the love I never had growing up is something I do deserve now. I want to feel special, and I want to be swept off my feet. If I thought that finally someone has come along that would sweep me off my feet the happiness was usually short lived.

I feel like I deserve someone that will love me and care about me who I could have a D/s relationship, but who understands that we need to have lives outside of that at the same time. Because as much as I'm sure many wish they could have that kinky novel D/s realtionship, it's a fantasy and reality is very different. We are not one-dimentional by nature, and that is what you really do have to love about humans, they are multi-fascited ever growing, changing and evolving in some manner or another. Even an apprantly stagnant pond has so much life moving and changing beneath it's surface.

So yes, call me fussy but I feel like I deserve someone who only has eyes for me, and if he is going to think about other women when he has a wank. Don't tell me that he does.Watching porn is one thing, but fantasising about fucking other women is another. I do apologise I'm going a little off, this is me gettng back on track! Someone who will show me love and affection. Someone is proud to have me as theirs.

So. Only question left is this. Where exactly do I go from here?