New Relationship

I'm taking things slowly with this relationship. I have to after the past couple of years, considering the state my heart has been left in, not to mention my trust (which is still currently non-existent but I am working on that). So anyway, I see him about once, maybe twice a week. But my brain is currently going mad and shouting at me to get out before I get hurt as I am getting rather attached to him, and I promised myself that I wouldn't get attached to anyone for a long time. But here I am slowly giving my control up and dare I say it possibly falling for this one. Well I'm off to go and put my butt plug in and record myself having a wank for him as promised. Damn rules! I'm actually enjoying them.

The Blowjob

So things between me and Storm are back on track. And without me doing anything too stupid while we were on the rocks! So I've been with him this past few days and things are much more like they used to be. Although he was a bit worried with these meds he's on that he wouldn't be able to get it up. And oh yeah yours truely defeated the medication! When I want it up by hook or by crook I'm going to get it up! What can I say, maybe I have a gift...

Anyway, he's not a fan of sex while I'm on the rag but if you'd spent four hours without being able to get the thought of giving your partner a blowjob then you really have to do something about it. Besides he can return the favour later down the line. So we're curled up in bed after a bit of a shitty day and I can hear it's getting to him. We've atempted to watch a film but talked over most of it. Largely him calling me a nymphomaniac, personally I want a second opinion! So I run my hands down his body and start to kiss his neck and down his body and I can feel him getting hard in my hand. His breathing changes, and I work my way down his body until he is in my mouth. I lick, kiss and suck him as he runs his fingers down the arm I am supproting my weight with and through my hair. I'm getting so wet I can barely concentrate until I hear his breathing quicken, trying to keep quiet with someone in the next room, and then he doubles over with orgasm, holding onto my head as he just seems to keep cumming in my mouth.  Finally his orgasm is over and we curl up in each other's arms.

Holy Crap!

So it's like eight o'clock in the morning, we've been out clubbing all night and the night before. And we are trashed, and exhausted, we ache, and finally we have stripped off and crawled into bed. We are already sweaty and gross and really should just be going to bed. Well we're in bed, that's close enough right?

He puts his arms around me and kisses me, and his hands run all over my body, and his fingers find my already wet cunt, and are inside me making me moan into his shoulder as I kiss it. My hands are all over his body and then he pulls me on top of him. I slide him inside me and his hands are all over my chest, strong but soft. My eyes lock onto his as I ride him until I am biting my lip to stop from screaming the entire flat down around me. I orgasm and it feels like my entire body has gone off like a rocket and I collapse on top of him totally breathless. He rolls me onto my back and it all gets a little hazy from there. When it is over we lay gasping for breath in each other's arms and nuzzle each other. The next thing I know it's some time in the afternoon.

Sex with Storm is way more addictive than crack, fizzy cola bottles and anything else I can think of! I've not been able to concentrate at work!

Unnatural, I Swear

I should be fully capable of having dirty thoughts of people that are not Storm. It is after all only a thought, so far I have discovered that actually I can't. This is not right it's unnatural. It's at the very least unfair. So what does this mean? I used to date a guy that said that I was the only person he would have dirty thoughts about. I thought he was bullshitting. Maybe he was telling the truth. Then again we've only been together for a month and a half so it may be just that... Nah even after a week into a relationship I could have dirty thoughts about certain athletes. Well ordinarily anyway. So sorry from now on it's going to be nothing but stories of Storm and I. Even if it is just dirty thoughts. But only when I'm finally comfortable that he is the only person I am capable of having dirty thoughts about.

Vertigo of Bliss

Now I've been quiet lately, and I was thinking why have I had less to say, is it the not having time? Partly. Is it that for the past two weeks and for the next two Advent have had and wil have my laptop fixing my screen for the second time. You'd have thought they'd have fixed it right the first time or just given me a properly working screen to start with. Slightly that, and I apologise for my rant. Or is it that I am enjoying the sex with Storm so much it makes my brain go fuzzy and I find it hard to remember enough to write about. Yeah, a lot, muchly and uh huh with enthusiastic noddings. There will be empty flat fun to talk share with you all next week.

Love and light to you all

Spirit

One Way Traffic

I hate oral sex.

Ok hate is a really strong word, but I don't let anyone get their head "down there" as it were. Funnily enough though get me on the giving end and you can almost guarantee my knickers will be soaking before they've cum. And I love sucking Storm's cock. I even like the taste of his cum. Good thing too seeing as the last time he came in my mouth I had to swallow twice!

A few weeks ago I had given him a blow job and I was all kinds of horny, he had cum in my mouth and had no idea at the time that blowjobs turned me on so much. Until he saw the damp patch where I had gotten so wet I'd soaked through my underwear. But he decided to make me wait, until finally he pulled my underwear off pulled me on top of him and he slid inside me. He pulled me onto him and a wave of bliss came over me. I swear that thing is a perfect fucking fit! He kissed my nck, shoulders and gently sucked my nipples and  I rode him until I was screaming, but he was nowhere near done with me. He pulled me up like a ragdoll, bent me over the nearby desk and fucked me until I was fighting to keep my knees from buckling. He came inside me and pulled me back to the sofa and held me in a tangle of limbs, and kissed me and ran his fingers through my hair and down my cheek, my arms and up and down my spine.

Well What Do You Know?

Well, I've been seeing my friend's brother for just under a month now in a *shock horror* vanilla relationship! And we are having the BEST time! I guess nearly dying in his arms wasn't enough to put him off after all!

I know I know you're after hearing about the sex, after all this is a super secret sex blog! Well it gives me shivers all over just thinking about it! His strong hands over my body just make my knees go weak,Wether it's me on top of him riding his cock, or him on top of me running his hands through my hair and down my body it's just perfect. Is it going to last? Well no one knows that do they? But I must say I hope this goes better! I'm just finding it hard to adjust to so much affection and caring. I've always looked after myself to a large degree and now someone else is looking after me it's... a new experince for me to say the least!

Spirit
xxx

Goodbye Mist

So it turned out that Mist was just trying to use me, and was setting me up for a fall. I'm not hurt, not now, I was then. All that's left now is anger. You pushed me into admitting my feelings and publicly I might add, just to dump me the next day. Well screw you then. Tomorrow night I'm going to be spending with Dax and I have been invited by a guy I know to go and have a play with him. Thing is he's much older than me and age difference has always been the one thing to put me off.

I haven't seen the guy in years though and I do want to go and catch up with him. But for the time being I'm committing to nothing and nobody. Just me. When the time's right, I'll know. But for now it's all kinky sex with great friends!

Pain, So Much Pain.

I used to have a fairly high tollerance for pain, now I don't know if it's because I went such a long time since someone actually pushed me pain wise, or if the things he likes to use are a very different kind of pain to what I am used to. Either way this weekend has seen me pushed further than usual. I think we're going to have to have words on a certain toy.

Also I made a total arse of myself and told him I loved him, what made him ask and more's the point, what made me say yes? Fuck. Well he didn't say that he loved me, but he at least still wants to see me again. So it can't be all bad.

Great Expectations

I thought I'd continue on from the thought of having high expectations in my recent comments (which can be found here) as it has been on my mind this afernoon.

I had a bit of a strange upbringing, and love was something that seemed to be an easy come easy go. Especially where my Mum was concerned. So now I feel that the love I never had growing up is something I do deserve now. I want to feel special, and I want to be swept off my feet. If I thought that finally someone has come along that would sweep me off my feet the happiness was usually short lived.

I feel like I deserve someone that will love me and care about me who I could have a D/s relationship, but who understands that we need to have lives outside of that at the same time. Because as much as I'm sure many wish they could have that kinky novel D/s realtionship, it's a fantasy and reality is very different. We are not one-dimentional by nature, and that is what you really do have to love about humans, they are multi-fascited ever growing, changing and evolving in some manner or another. Even an apprantly stagnant pond has so much life moving and changing beneath it's surface.

So yes, call me fussy but I feel like I deserve someone who only has eyes for me, and if he is going to think about other women when he has a wank. Don't tell me that he does.Watching porn is one thing, but fantasising about fucking other women is another. I do apologise I'm going a little off, this is me gettng back on track! Someone who will show me love and affection. Someone is proud to have me as theirs.

So. Only question left is this. Where exactly do I go from here?