Spreading Creativity

At the moment I am having to spread my stories over two places. My super secret blog and with Mist. At first I didn't think that would be a problem, until I read over "The Owner" the other day and would love to have shown him that, and now I am currently writing something for him, and I really wish that I could share it with everyone that reads my blog. Ok inspiration, if you could hit me with something right about now... no? Maybe later then.

Sub Space - A Natter

It's something that came up in conversation with Mist recently. He would rather his partner didn't space out and was there with him expriencing the sensations rather than have gone mentally and physically numb. And it got me to thinking, is that my subspace block? Do I actually like being there in the moment with my partner? Do I want to be able to look into their eyes when haze of pain has faded away and be totally grounded by them?

It would explain a lot, and it is a conversation we keep saying we could sit and have during emails and texts but the conversation never gets around to that. We've normally got better things to do!

Men In My Life

Right, so Mist came over today, and while we were playing made me cry (which is very rare for me) and it felt great. I find it hard to cry as a day to day thing and he is amazing afterwards at holding me and making me feel like I'm indistructable. The only problem is Wolfie. He doesn't see good or bad tears, just tears. Later while giving Mist a blow job I had to fight down Wolfie from coming up and biting him. I was having a great time and I actually really love giving him blow jobs.

My Other Side Is Big, Hairy and Snarley

There's a side of me that does not come out very often. In fact only one person has seen it, and it's a part of me I do not often talk about. I am very into pet play, but there's a snag with me, my animal side is no puppy. It's more a big snarling, slightyly cantankerous, alpha wolf. Oh did I mention also male. Yes the other side of me is as multi faceted as my human side.

"Wolfie" as he is currently known as no one has ever given him a name, and if he has one he isn't telling, has only come into contact with one other person. But before I go into that I guess I should tell you a bit about him. He has been a part of my personality for a good few years now, and occationally likes to come out to play at the worst possible time and I have to surpress him again. Which I hate doing as he never gets to come out to play. Another thing about him is he doesn't like people too much. It's hard to explain, I guess Spirit just fades away and Wolfie comes out to play. I recently had sub drop (trust me to get it over 24 hours after playing when Mist isn't around to cuddle me in the early hours of the morning) and I let Wolfie take over and as I drifted to sleep. He's protective and has already established he is not a fan of Mist (I'm not too surprised, two alpha males, there's bound to be friction.) In fact it was harder the other night to slip away, for once he didn't want to know.

Which leads me onto the time I was domming my ex, we were very close, there were no secrets and I told him about Wolfie. Then one day while I was domming him Wolfie decided that he wanted to come out to play, and Wolfie decided to hunt him. He made a sudden movement and before I could stop him, he pounced and bit my ex. Thankfully I managed to push Wolfie back down and my ex was ok. After a while he became somewhat indifferent to my ex, and even let my ex stroke him.

I never even spoke to Fyn about that side of me, eventually the way things are going with Mist I should probably tell him about it. Trust my animal roleplay side to be a danger to others!

Recollecting Thoughts

Very recently I played with Mist, and although I didn't subspace, it was intense and amazing. Just what I need. I shall eventually get around to the telling of what happened, but I'm stil just putting my brain back together from all that happened.

Back Home

So Fyn and I are over, we both wanted to see other people and we are remaining friends. Mist feels the same way about me as I do about him so we are going to take things very slowly and just enjoy each other's company. And if we happen to have sex in that time well that's cool by us too.

So I'm now back at my mum's and it's really nice. Not too sure how long that will last but hey, got to enjoy it while it does!

If all goes well I should be having lots of kinky adventures to share with you all very soon!

Spirit. xx

The Owner

"One day, I will own you."

Those words resonated through her mind, and became a feeling that washed over her whole body, one place in particular. He made her heart beat faster and the breath catch in her chest. It had been that way since the day they first met. He could offer her the control she sought, and in return she could offer him herself completely.

At the end of their first date she was told she was not allowed to play with herself without his permission. Although she could ask for it. Days in and she still hadn't asked, although they were talking at every chance they got. She was waiting for him to tell her she could. There was something about him, his voice, perhaps? Or maybe that way he had with her that somehow managed to make her feel completely safe and yet at the same time like she was throwing herself to the lions? But something about him just drew her in and she could not resist him.

She didn't know what was going to happen next, but she couldn't wait to find out...

Getting Back

So I have been doing a lot of soul searching (turns out I'd traded it for a box of cookies) and thinking about everything. I'm giving the relationship with Fyn until the end of the month, I have to move back to my mum's anyway as I've got a lot of stuff going on at the moment. I like hanging out with him, but we have just become friends. There's aboslutely nothing sexual in our relationship and I am sick of his constant selfishness in reguards to what he wants and what I want. The crush I have on Mist certainly isn't helping either.

Be Right Back

As I sit here bunking off from work I feel like I'm getting better. I'm putting all the crap behind me and slowly starting to move on. I feel like I'm ready to stop morning for all that other crap and come back as Spirit V2.0 better, dirtier and with added kink! And just as determinded to reach that ever elusive subspace!


Now I know as well as anyone that this will not be happening over night. Things take time, and energy and all that jazz. But as things change I will be updating with all the news, stories and gossip. Well wish me luck!

Spirit xx

In Mourning

Well I am currently in mourning for my sex life, my dead in the water relationship and my get up and go. I think it's time for the changes to ring in. But hopefully I'll be back soon.

Sorry Folks!

I am completely snowed under with work (something I am ment to be doing now) and haven't been finishing until really late at night and haven't had the time to write anything. Or to be honest do anything fun. But as soon as that changes I will be back!