Fliting In, Flitting Out

I'm back! No I wasn't locked in the basement of a dom and left to his mercy. Although that might have been fun and I am going back over the next few days for an extended period. He only hurt me once, but he talked to me constantly and it was amazing the way he got into my head and I tried age play for the first time. When he first mentioned it I had absolutely no interest and was a little grossed out but he talked to me and as he kept talking and explaining it changed from a hard limit to something I was curious about and within a few days I was a little girl and very comfortable with it. I wasn't that little but definately regressed a bit.

There's a lot of other stuff I have to get my head around at the moment but it'll all be coming out over the next couple of days. Hope ya'll are well and didn't miss me too much!

Spirit

What the Future Holds

Well I'm out with friends tonight for a couple of drinks, then the day after I'm going away for a few days. I'm staying with a dom I know. He wants to become my master, but I am still not too sure. I'm in no rush after the heartbreak of Mist, who is really treading dangerous ground with me right now. Don't do what you did to a girl and then try to get her back into bed. Not cool! If nothing else I shall have some great stories when I return!

Have a lovely weekend, and I'll update soon.

Goodbye Mist

So it turned out that Mist was just trying to use me, and was setting me up for a fall. I'm not hurt, not now, I was then. All that's left now is anger. You pushed me into admitting my feelings and publicly I might add, just to dump me the next day. Well screw you then. Tomorrow night I'm going to be spending with Dax and I have been invited by a guy I know to go and have a play with him. Thing is he's much older than me and age difference has always been the one thing to put me off.

I haven't seen the guy in years though and I do want to go and catch up with him. But for the time being I'm committing to nothing and nobody. Just me. When the time's right, I'll know. But for now it's all kinky sex with great friends!

Recconnecting With Zen

Where would I even start on telling you about Zen? He's my knight in shining armour. He's an old friend and the biggest pain in the butt I know! We met online a good few years ago, before Dax, Fyn or Mist. We have been consistantly in and out of contact ever since. He put a roof over my head, fed me and cleaned me when I was homeless, and when I thought he didn't care, I realised he was taking my mind off of my problems.

He is now back with his ex fiance, and I don't like it. To be honest, neither does he. She treats him like crap and I do not like it. Granted though he did fool around with me behind her back, and is debating dumping her. He has always wanted more from out friendship, and when he told me about his ex, I won't lie, I was sick with jealousy. This is not something I'm used to. So I made a desicion to give him a hint to my feelings. He didn't like that I was wearing someone else's marks, and that someone else was sleeping with me, so when I got home tonight I sent him an email telling him that I wanted to see him again, but just the two of us, no going out, just us alone. Well whatever happens next, at least it won't be dull...

Pain, So Much Pain.

I used to have a fairly high tollerance for pain, now I don't know if it's because I went such a long time since someone actually pushed me pain wise, or if the things he likes to use are a very different kind of pain to what I am used to. Either way this weekend has seen me pushed further than usual. I think we're going to have to have words on a certain toy.

Also I made a total arse of myself and told him I loved him, what made him ask and more's the point, what made me say yes? Fuck. Well he didn't say that he loved me, but he at least still wants to see me again. So it can't be all bad.

Non-commital.

Anyone who has been reading this blog for a while may remember Dak. I went to see him today and a drink as always turned into going back to his to watch DVD's. Last time it resulted in very drunken guilty sex. Now the situation as it stands with Mist is that I have no idea what's going on. His profiles don't say he is seeing anyone, and one in fact says he is still looking. Hmmmm. So fooling around with Dak this time was guilt free. We've been doing this for a while now. On and off. And today was probably the best we've had.

With Dak it's often very violent on both sides. I fight back (not Wolfie type fight back, as bizarrely he really likes Dak) but we have a lot of rough and tumble. In fact the first night we fooled around we totlly trashed his place. But doesn't the best sex usually create a lot of mess. Dak however had heard on the grapevine that I was playing with Mist and we talked about that. He knows my lingering fear of not knowing where I stand with him and that his blog says he is single. So with that in mind we had some very guilt free fooling around. Now I don't let Dak mark me as we are very non-commital. I love him to pieces but I don't have that connection that lets me let go enough to let him leave a single mark on me. But I'm sure you don't want to hear about that.

So lets get down to the dirty. He had been reading some dirty stories of mine lately from another blog I write, and now had an even better idea of what I was into. And for once I didn't go down with a fight. At the end of the DVD he pulled me onto him and we kissed. He started calling me a dirty slut and I was gone. He lifted me off of him and pulled off my jeans and told me to get on all fours and stay there.He slid a finger inside me and I moaned. I was already pretty wet. He has always been very rough with fingering me and I was finding it hard to stay on my hands as they began to shake. My breathing got quicker and the moans got louder. "Remember you aren't allowed to cum." Dammit I knew I shouldn't have told him that. He pulled his fingers out and I gave in and was on my elbows. Dak reminded me of this and I dragged myself up onto my hands again. He told me not to move and then a hand came smacking down onto my arse. I could hear him doing something around me but I didn't think looking up was the best idea. Dak may not be the most sadistic and while he isn't allowed to mark me he's a damn creative man. As I knew from past expeince. He also knows my body insanely well.

I could hear chain behind me and a pair of clovers were clamped down on my labia. His fingers went back inside me and he pulled on the chain. I was squirming and starting to try very hard to keep focused and not just go with it. Not long afterwards his fingers were out of me again and I could hear something going on behind me. I soon found out what it was as I felt the lube hit my skin and covering my arse. A finger slid inside and then another. He was soon fucking both holes and making me beg for more. He likes to make me beg for it. Soon enough his focus was just on streaching my arse as he is not a small boy and he wanted to fuck it. Something he'd never done with me before. He made sure I was nicely lubed and finally slid into my arse, but he's pretty big and it still hurt a little bit but he'd already forced my head into the pillow so I didn't make too much noise. He knows me well enough that he didn't stop or slow down but fucked me ruthelessly ignoring my screams calling me a bitch in heat (never been called that before and I rather liked it) and choked me on the fingers that had been in my cunt not long before. I could smell me on his fingers as he used me. He managed to orgasm before I could leaving me very wet, very turned on. But in keeping with Mist's orgasm ban.

Dak gave me some time to remember how to string a sentance and the caring sweet side was back. We cuddled up as we always do when we hang out. He asked it I was ok and we both cleaned ourselves up a bit. We watched some more junk and then he decided he wanted some more fun. He pulled me close and shoved a finger inside me and then another. I was soon writhing on his fingers and trying so hard to stop myself from orgasm. But his nail scratched me and I started to bleed, we were so wrapped up in the moment that neither of us had noticed as his fingers came out and he started fucking me. I wasn't in any pain (far from it it felt amazing) and it was only when my head came up I noticed the bloody finger marks on the wall. As I was in no pain and I love blood we continued despite better judgement saying I was out of action. The fact that I was so wet made it seem worse than it was and he smeared my bloody over me. But still no orgasm for me.

We chilled out afterwards and once we stopped so did the blood. We also figured it was a good time to call it quits on that department and just relax.We talked some more about Mist, and agreed that if Mist decides he wants to get serious with me Dak and I would stop fucking around. That's what I like about Dak, no strings sex and a great friend. In public people would think we're just two friends. I'm pretty sure he's the best dirty little secret I've ever had. And today was certainly (despite the lack of orgasm) some of the best sex I have ever had! Mist is going to wonder what the hell happened to me when he gets me into bed!

Fear and Lust in London

Like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas but with less drugs and more sex.

Alright, alright less of the attempts at humor I'll get to the point. I have been talking to Mist this past day or two. He has something planned for me. I don't know any more than the list of things I need to bring. I think I'm going to meet him at a station in a part of London I don't know and he won't tell me any more.

If this was any other person I knew I'd demand some details or I wouldn't go, but I trust him. I trust him completely, he has proven me wrong about even myself. No, that's not right. He hasn't proven me wrong. He's guided me through things I thought I didn't like. And shown me that a bad experince doesn't make them bad things. I'll tell you more when I know more!

Fighting Back

An idea from a conversation between Mist and I.

But as I wrote through this I couldn't decide if Taming the Beast might not be a better title. You decide.

He wanted a challenge, and he certainly got it. She was like a coiled spring her body crouched and slightly bent, her legs bent and the knees and up on her toes. She was ready to meet his next move, matching every movement he made with one of her own. What he found so strange was the way that she moved, it seemed so unnatural yet completely comfortable to her. It was strange to him, he who owned her completely, or so he though. No one owned this side of her. There was a definace in this wild, naked woman. And a challenge in her eyes that dared him to even try and catch her.

He made a grab at her slender arm, and it dissapeared beneath him to be replaced by a sweeping almost claw like hand to his arm. He pulled away, shocked at her speed. But he had one thing that she did not. Strength. And he did not plan to lose to his wild girl. This was his idea and he would always feel like he would never completely own her until he had taken control of this almost inhuman side to her. He took another grab at her, this time for her hair which was trailing wild in her face. But again she was already gone and diving behind him with a bizarre agility. There was nothing graceful or cat like about it, yet it was beautiful in it's own way. She landed behind him on all fours and was diving at his back. But this time he was too quick fer her and he threw her down.

She landed on her shoulder with a grunt and this time was up much slower. She barely managed to miss the kick intended to keep him down and went for him while she had him off balance. The force she piled into him with as she bundled her tiny but powerful body into him sent them both flying and hitting the ground hard. She went into his bare chest with her teeth. She bit down hard enough to taste his blood, and in that moment they both thought she had won. He gathered his thoughts and grabbed her by the hair and throat forcing her away. She swiped out with paw like hands and a wild look in her eye. He threw her away like a broken doll. He glanced grabbed the rope and looked down on her as she pulled herself together. He could see between her legs was slick with her juices. She rose up again but he was prepared. She threw herself at him again, he could tell she was becoming desperate, and tired. He was much bigger and heavier and grabbed her body and threw it down without much of a problem.

She landed on her front and he was on top of her before she could turn, a knee in her back, pinning her once and for all. She still did not give up. Snarling and clawing in a desperate bid to right herself. He grabbed her wild mess of hair and forcing her face down with a force that would later bruise her cheek. One hand went to her head trying to fight off his hand. The other he grabbed and forced behind her back and tying it at the wrist. Using the rope to hold it in place he grabbed the other wrist and forced it back, tying it to the other wrist.

Next was her legs. They had been flailing around but now were completely still. It almost seemed too calm to belong to the deep ragged breaths and growls coming from his captive. He pulled his leg away and she moved as quick as her bonds would allow and was on him, teeth bared and ready to keep going. He struck her across the face knocking her back, but again she came at him. He had more time now, and he grabbed his next length of rope. He forced her down again and sat on her chest, it took a while to tie her legs but eventually with a lot of throwing around had tied her ankles to her thighs. She was bent in an uncomfrtable looking tie still looking up and still full of fire.

He had become as aroused as she, who was now so wet the insides of her thighs were slick with sweat and her juices. He posisioned her with her arse in the air and fucked her. She was exhausted, beaten and broken. He continued to slap and scartch at her skin as she still tried to wrestle and slowly gave in to her captor. He reached his climax and left her there just for a minute. Watching the rise and fall of her body as her breathing became regular again. He untied her and they curled up in each other arms.