So I have gone from being the Mistress to being the sub again. I should be happy right? After all I was feeling the urge to sub again. But while I'm not unhappy about it, I'm not exactly happy either. I am all too stubborn and headstrong for my own good, and as a result subbing has never sat easy with me. But at the same time, domming has never sat particularly easily with me either. Last night I fucked someone in my dream, and it was amazing, yet it was also totally vanilla. But if I have a vanilla relationship I grow bored and miss the kink in no time at all.
I guess with me it is all or nothing. If I am going to subI have to go the whole nine yeards and have the 24/7 relationship. Yet I have not found someone who could give me that. And when I did many years ago now, I ended up domming him too. Then it was like the spell was broken and we could never go back to the way we were. Fyn is not a 24/7 type person, and I'd never ask him to be. You can't make someone into something they are not. Many people have tried to do that with me. Like those people that dated me and wanted to change so many things about my physical apperance. You knew what I looked like when we met.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Spirit
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